Heal Me, Cause I Can't Deal No More
by Static O. Sventura
Summary: -NO SLASH- Dean knows monsters are real. Even though his family says they aren't. Even though the doctors say they aren't. Dean knows they took his mother. He can't take let them take the rest of his family. But monsters aren't real, and John is coming to the end of his rope. Moving to a new town might help. And maybe... so will the family next door. Unstable!Dean
1. Past, Present, Hope for a Future

**Disclaimer: This makes story number five and they're still not mine. And they never will be.**

**Not sure if anyone will like this.**

**Warnings (I'll put warnings when they are needed): Alludes to child abuse, alcoholism, and the word suicide (Am I being a little paranoid with the warning?)**

* * *

How do you ruin someone's life so thoroughly they can't even function, you might ask?

Well, I am an expert on the subject, so pay attention.

My wife died twelve years ago. House fire. There were faulty wires in one of the rooms. I had been asleep in front of the television when I'd finally woken up to the smell of smoke and my little boy screaming.

I found him in the baby's room, batting frantically at the flames that were lapping at Sammy's crib. I'd never felt so terrified before, not even in the Marines. But Sammy was all right and Dean seemed okay. I got them out of there but Mary…

Mary wasn't with us.

I ran back in, I tried to save her.

It wasn't enough.

Dean had some mild burns, Sammy suffering from smoke inhalation, and Mary was dead.

We buried her and then I made the biggest mistake of my life. Drowning in booze had seemed like the only option at that point. Never mind my boys that had just lost their mother. Never mind my little Dean who'd been confused, terrified, and burned.

My grief was much more important than theirs.

Three years passed in an alcoholic haze. Always moving, never staying in one town too long. Hardly knowing or remembering how we got there or how we survived. Sometimes I noticed bruises on Dean, but it didn't seem important. Boys got into trouble all the time, it had nothing to do with me or things I couldn't remember. And maybe sometimes the room was trashed and Dean would be hiding with Sammy in the bathroom when I woke up, but that didn't have to do with me.

I'd never hurt my boys.

When Dean was seven and Sammy three, I met Kate Milligan and felt something I hadn't felt in years. She worked at the hospital and I'd broken my arm when I fell down the motel stairs. She was blonde and took a liking to my boys. Watched them while my arm was set. Brought them some coloring sheets and candy. Somehow, she wrangled our room number from me and showed up with a casserole.

Dinners led to breakfasts, which led to lunches, which continued on to outings in the park. Before I knew it, she'd worked her way into my heart and helped me halfway to sobriety.

It was then I started to realize how big I'd screwed up.

Dean wasn't… right.

I noticed the salt lines around the doors and windows. When Kate swept them up, Dean went ballistic, asking her what she thought she was doing. When I reached for him, he flinched but tugged desperately on my arm, apologizing and promising to put them back.

Then I found the big hunting knife beneath his pillow and the papers full of illegible scribbles and horrible drawings.

We, Kate and I, sat him down and tried talking to him. What I heard made me sick.

"Mommy was killed by monsters. Daddy hunts them. And he's training me to hunt them too."

Then he'd proudly pulled up his shirt and shown off the fading bruises and scars. When I threw up in the bathroom he asked me if the monsters got me and whether or not he'd need more training.

Kate said he was coping, had created a world to live in where his mother's death and my drunken, sometimes violent behavior, could be explained. Maybe he'd gotten the idea from a movie, but he was positive we were monster hunters, looking for what had killed their mother and being "trained" by their father.

Maybe deep down, Dean knew I was the monster. I certainly felt like one.

The shrink didn't help, just gave us drugs that didn't help either and left my boy a zombie. Sammy was scared, didn't know what was going on with his big brother. Kate explained that Dean was sick and needed our help. My sweet little baby was more than willing to help his hero get better. On good days, we'd take Dean out. Go to a park, a zoo, a movie, anything. On bad days, Kate took Sammy out and I stayed home and held my eldest close, apologizing over and over.

I think it was as big a surprise for me as it was for her when I asked Kate to marry me. I hadn't planned it, hadn't had a ring. We'd been trying to get Dean to eat.

She said yes.

It was a small wedding without a honeymoon. Not long after, Kate was pregnant. Dean was eight and Sammy four when Adam was born. Dean was not… happy.

When he attacked his psychologist, we decided it was a good time to move.

Life wasn't perfect, sometimes it was barely good. But I loved it.

Dean was doing better. He'd started to warm up to Kate, taken an interest in Adam. No more salt lines or horror stories.

Then the accident happened. Barely a year with my new wife and she was gone. Drunk driver. The bitter irony wasn't lost on me.

It hit me as hard as Mary's death, but I'd learned from my mistakes. No whiskey, no moving. Sammy was five by then and had just lost the only mother he'd ever known. And Dean…

It was like all that progress was gone. He'd looked wild when he'd told me that a monster had killed Kate. The morning after her death, the salt lines were back and I discovered him trying to exorcise his infant brother.

The doctors said there was a nice place where he would be looked after and helped. But I had done this to my boy and I wasn't going to send him away for my mistakes.

Over many years and many different medications I have watched Dean lose weight drastically and gain weight drastically. I've put him on suicide watch and seen him in a straightjacket. I have changed him when the drugs left him too out of it to use the bathroom. I have held him down when the drugs made him rage and scream. But I haven't seen the sweet little four-year-old that laughed and played.

I'm starting to lose hope.

* * *

John opens the back of the U-Haul truck,

"Sammy, Adam, come on."

The Impala's doors open and two boys tumble out. Twelve-year-old Sam Winchester helps his younger brother to his feet,

"Careful, Ad."

"Come on, boys." Both of his sons are practically vibrating with excitement, looking around the nice neighborhood. Adam's blue eyes are wide,

"Wow, Daddy." John chuckles, handing the eight-year-old a light box,

"What do you think of the house, buddy?"

Sammy and Adam turn, examining the two-story with critical eyes. Fenced in lawn, sidewalk up to the front door. There's a porch and a garage. It's clean.

John leans down and acts like he's imparting some great secret,

"There's a tree in the backyard."

His boys grin big,

"Awesome!"

"Can we have a swing?"

John chuckles as they start to run towards their new home. He gently snags Sam's arm, pulling him back

"How's Dean? Still asleep?"

Sam glances at the Impala,

"He's awake. Just staring out the window."

John's smiling warmly as he ruffles his middle boy's floppy hair,

"Okay, I'll get him in. Now, better hurry before Adam picks the top bunk."

Sam's hazel eyes widen comically,

"We get a bunk bed?"

He dashes up the front walk,

"Adam!"

John watches them go, his face showing just how much he loves them. He glances between the U-Haul and the Impala, thinking it over. He finally heads toward their car.

Dean is riding shotgun, clutching his duffle to his chest. Glassy green eyes frantically examine his surroundings. He jumps when John opens the door. John reaches in, palming his cheek,

"Hey, tiger. Good nap?"

"Where are we? New job?"

John is smiling,

"New house, Dean. Remember? I told you all about it last night."

And the night before that and the night before that. Dean doesn't always have the best memory.

His son stares at the house, his voice sounding just the tiniest bit afraid,

"What're we hunting?"

John helps him from the car, keeping a firm but gentle grip on his elbow in case he takes a nosedive,

"Nothing, Dean. There's nothing to hunt, remember?"

Dean stumbles a bit, leaning on him as the walk up to the door,

"Werewolf?"

John kisses sweat-soaked blonde hair,

"No hunting, Dean. Monsters aren't real. They won't hurt you."

Dean sounds so young, not the sixteen years he really is when he asks,

"Promise?"

"Promise. Let's get you settled on the couch. Hey, look at that TV. Maybe Dr. Sexy is on, huh?"

* * *

"Oh, Gabe, we've got neighbors!"

Gabriel looks up from the mail as his younger sister runs in, red hair flying behind her as she dashes to the stove,

"I should make them something."

Gabe groans,

"Anna, no… Not again."

She turns, pointing at him

"You guys should offer to help them unpack the van."

"Anna, I'm busy."

And sure Anna's petite, but Gabe's not that big either, and she does look pretty menacing with that wooden spoon of hers. He holds his hands up in mock surrender,

"Alright, you win. Balthazar! Cas! Get your scrawny butts down here!"

A door slams upstairs and the sound of pounding footsteps echo down the stairs. Within a minute flat, a lanky young man with carefully styled brown spikes is standing in the doorway. A lazy grin flickers across Balthazar's face,

"You rang?"

"Where's Cas?"

"Here."

Gabe doesn't jump when Cas speaks from right behind him. He tilts his head up, catching his little brother's blue eyes,

"We need to get you a bell."

Anna is pulling ingredients from the cupboards and refrigerator,

"Go on, go help."

Balthazar leans against the doorframe,

"Who are we helping?"

Gabe stands up,

"Our new neighbors. Come on."

* * *

John is leaning into the U-Haul when he hears them.

"Hey, need some help?"

He turns to see three young men standing at the foot of their driveway. The blonde one is smiling,

"Gabe Anglicu. I'm your neighbor."

John shakes his hand,

"John Winchester."

The brunette extends his hand,

"Igneous Percival Freely at your service."

Gabe snorts,

"That's a pretty good one. This is my brother Balthazar."

"He the joker of the family?"

Gabe grins,

"Oh no, no, no. I'm the joker. He's the snarky one. And the pasty one's Cassie."

The boy doesn't look insulted by being called pasty,

"Castiel."

"Dad, do have Dean's… oh."

John reaches back and pulls Sammy beneath his arm, giving him a squeeze,

"This is my boy, Sam. Sammy, these are the neighbors. What did you need?"

Sam glances at the strangers, blushing,

"Um…"

And John knows, he knows exactly what he's looking for. Dean's medications. It's something John has noticed about his Sammy. When it comes to Dean's… quirks, Sam can be tight-lipped around outsiders. Little Sam in his quest for normal doesn't like to tell people about his not normal brother. Doesn't matter that Dean loves him with all his heart, Sammy feels a little embarrassed by him. It's something John hopes to rectify.

Sam finally gets it out,

"You have is meds?"

"They're in the glove box."

His son hurries to retrieve them. John looks back to the neighbors,

"Can I help you?"

"Actually, we came over to see if you needed some help unloading."

Adam makes himself known, shouting from the doorway,

"Yes! Say yes, Daddy!"

John laughs,

"My youngest. Not a fan of working."

Adam grins, hurrying up to grab onto his father's leg, using it as a barrier between him and the strangers. John ruffles his blonde hair,

"Grab a bag, then go sit with you brother. Okay?"

Adam nods, snatches a bag, then flees. John turns back to the neighbors,

"Well, sounds like my boys would like some help."

Gabe smacks his brothers playfully,

"You heard the man. To work!"

* * *

Dean shuffles down the hallway, checking each room. Has to make sure they're safe. Can't let anymore monsters get to his family. He'll need to put salt lines down. He stumbles against the wall, exhaling sharply. Later though. Right now, he feels weird. Maybe he's sick. Or…

The monster got to him.

That thought sends him pitching back down the stairs. If the monster got to him, then his family…

He runs straight out the front door and right into something. A yelp, clatter of falling things, and Dean and the monster go down. Dean will not let this monster hurt his family.

* * *

Cas had been reading when Gabe called and told him they would be helping the new neighbors. Cas was okay with that. Not a big fan of physical labor, but Anna said, and when _**Anna**_ says something you do it. Or else.

He'd just been carrying a box into the house though when someone bowled right into him and sent him reeling back off the porch. Now he's on the ground, being kicked, punched, and _**squished**_. He shrieks,

"Gabe! Help!"

"No! Dean, stop!"

Hands, pulling, free! Cas finds himself held up by his brothers as the neighbor, John, pulls up a cursing, flailing, blonde boy. John struggles to pin him,

"Dean, calm down!"

The boy, Dean, is shouting now

"Dad! Dad!"

John flops onto the grass, pulling Dean down onto his lap,

"Right here, Dean. I've got you.'

Wild green eyes trail up to look at his father's face. Dean stills, growing limp with relief,

"Dad…"

John smiles encouragingly,

"Yeah, Dean."

The boy's voice is quiet,

"Monster, Dad…"

"No, Dean. No monsters. These are our neighbors."

John looks up at them. Cas suddenly feels afraid, like he's intruding. John reaches to tilt Dean's head up to look at them,

"Dean, this is Gabe Anglicu and his brothers, Balthazar and Castiel."

Those unfocused eyes are staring at him now. Staring _**through**_ him.

"…Monster?"

"No. No monsters, Dean."

But staring into those eyes… Cas could believe there were monsters.

* * *

**So, this idea randomly came into my head and I had to write it. Whether anyone likes it or wants more is up to you.**

**Dean: 16**

**Sam: 12**

**Adam: 8**

**Gabe: 25**

**Anna: 23**

**Balthazar: 19**

**Cas: 17**

**Decided to pick on Dean some. Actually, a lot. And I realize some characters (JOHN) will seem OOC, but remember they're life story is different. John didn't raise his boys as soldiers.**

**So… bye.**

_Static_


	2. Bedtime for Sleepy Winchesters

**DISCLAIMER**

**Well… I guess you guys want more :D**

"Dean? Hey, tiger, bedtime."

Dean moans, squirming away from the hand trying to wake him up. John chuckles, reaching down to tap Dean's cheek,

"Come on, tiger. Got to get in bed."

Dean wordlessly voices his protest, hugging Adam closer to his chest. The brothers had sat down to watch something, Adam held securely on Dean's lap. Dean's preferred method of relaxing is holding one of his little brothers. Sammy isn't as obliging as he used to be, but Adam is usually willing to be used as a giant teddy bear. And that's how the two fell asleep, a silent comfort to each other.

Except, now it's bedtime.

John finally sighs, smiling softly

"Okay, you two asked for it."

Adam giggles, awake but unable to escape his big brother. With exaggerated effort, John bends over and scoops up his son like a baby. Adam squeals, clutching tighter to Dean and the boy stirs. Sleepy eyes look up at John,

"…Da?"

"Bedtime, Deano."

Dean snorts, relaxing in his father's hold. John watches his boy's face fondly as he carries the two upstairs. It takes some effort, but he manages to pry Adam from Dean's grip. That wakes the teen up a lot better than John's attempts earlier. He grips empty air, blinking owlishly,

"Ad?"

"He's got to get ready for bed, Dean."

Adam stands on his tiptoes to kiss Dean's forehead,

"Night, Deanie."

"Night, Ad…"

John continues on past Adam and Sam's room. Dean reaches up, latching onto his father's jacket.

_Oh please, let Sammy have unpacked Axel._

John smiles, opening the door with his foot and, thank goodness, the object of his worry is right there. Sam has unpacked the big stuffed German Shepard and left it on Dean's bed.

_Thank you, Sammy._

John sets Dean down on the bed, steadying him as the boy starts to lie down, removing the oversized hoodie,

"Hey, not yet. You've been in those clothes all day."

Dean's pliant as John slips him out of the t-shirt and sweats he wore for the car trip. Dean shivers and John rubs one thin arm. One of the last medications had made Dean a little nauseous and caused a loss in appetite. John's already noticed that the replacement has caused a dramatic increase in Dean's hunger. So, no worries of anorexia. Just look out for overeating.

It's while John is pulling on another pair of sweat pants that he realizes something is dripping on his hands. He looks up to find tears tracing their way down Dean's cheeks. He gently brushes them away, taking the lean face in his hands,

"Dean, buddy, what's wrong? You want the Led Zeppelin shirt?"

Dean hiccups,

"D-daddy, wha-a-at's wrong with me?"

_Oh Mary, our baby boy keeps breaking my heart. I suppose I deserve it though._

John pulls his eldest to his chest,

"No, Dean, no. There's nothing wrong with you."

"N-no, there's somethi-i-i-ing wrooong…"

"Shh, buddy, shh. You're perfect, buddy, you're perfect. Wouldn't want anyone else."

They sit like that for several minutes, Dean on John's lap and John soothing gently until Dean is no longer crying. John speaks softly,

"Led Zeppelin?"

"Yeah…"

He helps Dean back onto the bed before retrieving the preferred shirt and helping his son into it. After that, it's easy to tuck him in and hand him Axel. Dean immediately snuggles the stuffed dog close,

"Axel…"

John is busy plugging in the CD player. He turns on the special CD Sam made, featuring some of the calmer songs that Dean enjoys. As 'Hey, Jude' starts to play, John smoothes his boy's hair and kisses his forehead,

"Night, Dean. Love you."

Dean yawns,

"Love you, Da…"

And for tonight, there are no mentions of salt lines.

**So, I wanted to give you a glimpse into their "average" life.**

**Next chapter should be from Cas's POV**

**It has been scientifically proven that reviews make me update faster**

**O-O Science Smiley says so**

**REALLY BIG FREAKING THANKS GO TO;**

**Tam1979, Winchestergirl67, lljn105, KatyOnACloud, Apocalyxtic98, and jokergirl94**

**You are the reason this chapter was up so quick!**

**Night-Night!**

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	3. School Time for Cas

**DISCLAIMER**

"Cas! School!"

…

"Wake up, bro! Train's leaving the station in 30 minutes!"

Gabriel's standing at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for his younger brother to get his butt out of bed and get down h…

"What is it?"

Cas is standing in the doorway, backpack on his shoulders,

"Are you ready now?"

Gabe glances between him and the stairs before giving up,

"Never mind. Let's go."

Cas steps outside, glancing across his yard to the neighbor's house. Yesterday had been… interesting. Gone over to help and got a fat lip for his troubles. Figures. Seems like the world is out to get him, most of the time. Makes sense that he'd wind up with a psycho neighbor to add to the mess that is his life. Like he needs more stress.

A quick slap to the back of his head then Gabe squeezes his shoulder,

"Stop thinking. Save it for P.E."

"That doesn't make sense, Gabe."

"Yes it does."

* * *

Well, school sucked. They had to buddy up in Chemistry and he got stuck with some kid that doesn't like him, which is the majority of the students.

P.E. sucked. Mile days are the worst. And they're in the tail end of May. It doesn't help that he wears the sweats cause he's not a fan of the shorts.

And there's no one to drive him home because his siblings are working today.

Those were only parts of his awful day.

"Hey, Clarence! Step on the brakes."

And it doesn't look as if it's going to be getting any better. Why does the only student that has any interest in him have to be Meg Masters?

The brunette falls into step beside him, smug as ever

"Rough day."

"I suppose you could say that."

She laughs,

"How many times did you trip on the mile? Five?"

"Eight."

"Wow, two trips per lap? Keeping it even I see."

Cas doesn't care for her, but she is the only one that talks to him willingly. A little too willingly for his taste.

"Hey, Clarence, save your thinking for P.E."

Cas tilts his head, wrinkling his brow,

"Why does everyone keep telling me that? And my name is not Clarence."

"But you're a goody-two-shoes, angel-boy. Haven't you ever seen It's a Wonderful Life?"

"Every Christmas. But I don't see why…"

Meg slings an arm over his shoulder,

"Hey, don't worry. You'll earn your wings someday."

"You're illogical."

"Stop flirting, Clarence, I'm spoken for."

"I'm not flirting. And please refrain from touching me."

"You sure know how to make a girl feel wanted. If I didn't know better, I'd say you didn't like me."

"I don't."

"Tell it like it is, Clarence. You won't hurt my feelings or anything."

Cas slips out from under her arm,

"I know you don't care, Meg. If you did, you would leave me alone."

"I think I'll walk a little farther."

"Your house is the other way."

"Your house is this way."

* * *

He sees Anna's bike on the porch when he gets home. Apparently, she got off early.

Meg stops before they reach the gate,

"Well, you made it home safe and sound. My good deed for the day is done."

She walks back the way they just came,

"And put some ice on that lip."

Cas watches her disappear before he heads up to his front door. When he steps in he calls,

"Anna?"

"Oh, Cas! I'm in the kitchen."

Cas finds himself smiling. It's very rare to see Anna anywhere but the kitchen. She's a good cook and loves her work at the nice little café by the bookstore. And hey, her brothers get free pastries and coffee. Cas is pretty happy about that. He hangs up his backpack before joining her in the kitchen,

"You finished early?"

"Rachel had a family emergency so we closed up early. Hey, could you clean up the foyer? We're having guests."

Cas picks up one of the cookies she's set out to cool. Butterscotch. Delicious.

"Who?"

Anna shoos him from the cooling rack,

"The Winchesters. They just moved in and it's got to be tough. I mean, he's a single father with three boys, and Dean…"

"Dean?"

"His eldest. He's got a few problems, has to take some medication. So, I thought it would be nice to invite them over to dinner. Save John some work. Now, clean the foyer please."

Cas stands there, staring at her back as she cooks. Really? Invite Psycho Neighbor over for dinner?

Yeah, the universe is out to kill him.

**And there is Cas's POV. I realize these chapters are kind of short, but I'm just warming up.**

**Who wants to see the Anglicu-Winchester Dinner Party?**

**Erurainialai, jokergirl94, Winchestergirl67, Apocalyxtic98**

**Thank you for reviewing!**

_Static_


	4. Winchester-Anglicu Dinner

**THIS IS THE DISCLAIMER**

"Dad, do we have to go?"

"Yes, Sammy."

"Does Dean have to go?"

"Of course, Sammy."

"I'm not going."

"Yes, you are. Sam, I'm not arguing about this anymore. We're going, Dean's going, and you're going."

Sam huffs, stomping his foot,

"But, Dad! Dean attacked that kid and now we're going to his house for dinner? What if Dean tries to kill one of them?"

And that is exactly why Dean doesn't go to public school. That nice kid that just offered him a pencil could potentially wind up on the wrong side of Dean's fists. Because monsters are everywhere and he needs to be ready for them.

John takes Sam's shoulders, bending down,

"Sam, Dean needs to get out of this house. We can't just keep him locked away for the rest of his life. The last shrink Dr…"

John searches his memory for the name, but Dean's had so many doctors over the years that they all tend to blend together. But Sammy remembers,

"Sawyer. Dr. Sawyer."

"Dr. Sawyer said we should get him out. Get him some friends."

"Yeah, friends he won't scare away when he's mumbling nonsense over the toilet bowl. Or, you know, when the toilet water on them."

John tries not to smile, but that is one of his boy's little incidents that he had found rather humorous. Of course, the ones drenched in toilet water had been Sammy's friends. Who had never spoken to him again and spread the news that 'Sammy Winchester's big brother is a nutcase!'

* * *

"_Why Dean? Why do you always have to ruin my life?"_

_Dean looks young and confused as his little brother screams at him. His voice is pleading,_

"_Sammy? Sammy, what's wrong?"_

"_You! You are Dean! My entire school is laughing at me now! They think I'm a freak with a psychopath for an older brother! And I'm never going to make any friends cause you keep ruining it! I HATE YOU!"_

_And John has been trying to get him to shut up, to leave the room, but Sammy is furious and screaming, not even thinking about what he's saying. And everything he doesn't really mean comes flying out of his mouth and stabbing into his big brother's already fragile heart._

_Dean looks absolutely devastated. His baby brother, his Sammy… hates him? But what did he do? He doesn't understand. Maybe…_

_John and Sammy are frozen as Dean blubbers,_

"_Not… not my Sammy. G-get outta' my Sammy."_

_John curses vehemently. Sammy slowly approaches his brother,_

"_No, Dean. I'm not…"_

"_Get outta' my Sammy! My-my Sammy would ne-e-e-e-e-ever say that! My Sammy loves me! My Sammy loves me!"_

_Dean is red-in-the-face and gasping, barely managing to pull in any air between his sobs. John grabs his shoulders and pulls him in close,_

"_Dean, shh-shhh, it's okay. It's okay, buddy. Sammy didn't mean that. Sammy was just mad."_

_Dean's gasping,_

"_S-Sammy loooooves me-e-e… loves me…"_

_Then Sammy is hugging his waist and practically climbing up him,_

"_Course, course I love you. You're Dean. You're my Dean. And-and I love you all the way to… to Pluto and back!"_

_Dean's hysteria is starting to wane,_

"_A gazillion times?"_

"_A gazillion-bazillion-trillion times!"_

_Sammy is in Dean's arms and Dean's in John's arms. Dean sniffles,_

"_My Sammy? You my Sammy?"_

_Sam nuzzles his face against Dean's neck,_

"_Course I'm your Sammy. Who else would I be? I'm always gonna be your Sammy."_

* * *

John knocks on Dean's doorframe before entering. His boy is sitting on the window frame, Metallica blaring from his player as he stares blankly out the window. John smiles,

"Hey, tiger, time to get ready."

Dean turns from his view. John opens the dresser he had filled that morning,

"How about your black sweat?"

"No."

"Grey?"

Dean shakes his heads,

"No."

He stumbles over, dropping to his knees beside his father. Uncoordinated hands pull open the bottom drawer and search the back. John is surprised at what Dean pulls out,

"Jeans? Buddy, you haven't worn those in a while."

Because sweats are a lot easier to get on and off a fussy Dean than jeans are. But Dean seems to have his heart set on them, so John helps him change into the jeans and an AC/DC shirt. And the jeans are an inch to short and need a belt to stay up, but they'll do.

"So, Miss Anglicu asked if we liked pie."

Dean's shivering, but that doesn't stop him

"We like pie."

John smiles as he leads him out the door,

"That's right, tiger. Told her we like pie a lot."

"D*** straight…"

John is laughing now,

"D*** straight, Dean. Hey, you cold?"

"D-don't know…"

Dean shivers harder, prompting John to take off his leather jacket and slide it onto his son's arms. Dean exhales a happy noise, smiling at the warm leather brushing over his skin,

"Dad."

"Yep, buddy, but you can wear it right now. Keep you warm."

_And hopefully keep you calm._

But of course, that part is only thought.

* * *

So, he hasn't been strangled, beaten, or stabbed by cutlery.

_**Yet.**_

Maybe his night won't be too bad. But that's a pretty big maybe considering Psycho Neighbor and Family are sitting at his table. And maybe Mr. Winchester took away Psycho's fork and knife, but if he sticks it right, that spoon could prove deadly. But he could just be feeling paranoid.

Cas picks at his salad, feeling suffocated in the awkward silence. Anna and Gabe had attempted conversation with Mr. Winchester, but after awhile it had fallen flat. Which is odd, because Gabe is a big talker and Balthazar likes to hear himself talk.

Psycho Neighbor swallows a big bite of burger,

"This is awkward."

Anna smiles,

"You're right. So, Dean? Is that your name?"

Psycho Neighbor bobs his head, eyes not leaving his plate

"Uh-huh. Dean."

"Dean, when are you starting school?"

Dean stops, looking confused

"School?"

John squeezes his son's arm,

"Dean doesn't go to school."

Dean suddenly straightens, looking up

"Sammy goes to school. Sammy's really smart."

The kid with too much hair, Sammy, blushes bright red. Apparently, now that Dean's started blabbering, it doesn't appear that he feels like stopping. His fingers tug gently at the tablecloth,

"Adam's good at science. And art. He drew me a picture today."

Anna leans in, as if fascinated

"Wow. My brothers haven't drawn me any pictures for years now. I think they don't love me as much anymore."

A grin slowly creeps onto Dean's face,

"Sammy doesn't draw me pictures either. But he used to."

"Do you like art, Dean?"

The teen's touching all his food,

"No. One of my shrinks tried to make me paint. She said it would help."

He sighs

"Full of s***."

John almost chokes on his drink but Gabe grins,

"Deano, I think I like you."

"Huh. Sorry, don't swing that way."

Now Gabe is full out laughing and Dean looks happy that he's said the right thing. John coughs,

"I'm sorry about Dean, he…"

Balthazar leisurely waves his hand,

"Don't worry about it."

Adam finally pipes up,

"Dean's the best. He tells really good stories. And he can eat a _**whole**_ pie all by himself."

Typical little brother worshipping his big brother as some kind of hero. Cas used to do that. He had thought Anna had weaved the sky, Balthazar had arranged the stars, and Gabriel had hung the moon. Then he'd grown up.

"Your lip…"

Cas startles when he realizes that Dean is staring at _**him**_. Psycho Neighbor is looking right at him. Dean frowns,

"Oh… Didn't mean to hit you."

He looks to John,

"I did that?"

John leans close, speaking softly,

"You were a little confused. You'd been stuck in the car all day."

Dean turns back to Cas,

"I'm sorry. My head's not right. Dad knows…"

That kills any more conversation.

* * *

"Cas, can I come in?"

Cas puts his book down,

"Yes."

Anna smiles when she sees her baby brother all ready for bed in his matching pale blue pajamas,

"All your homework done?"

"Yes, Anna."

The redhead sits on the edge of his bed,

"…Dinner wasn't bad, was it?"

"It was delicious."

Anna playfully smacks his arm,

"You know what I mean."

Cas thinks about it,

"…It wasn't bad."

"Thanks, Castiel. I feel great now."

Anna suddenly pulls him into a hug, ruffling his hair

"Cas… you're doing okay, right? School's not getting to you?"

"I'm fine, Anna. School's fine."

"You'd tell me or your brothers if you're feeling… stressed or anxious, right?"

And Cas is almost an adult, but he still snuggles a little closer,

"Yes, Anna. But I'm fine."

Anna sniffles, hugging tighter,

"Okay. Thank you."

She holds Cas out,

"Now, I have a favor to ask."

"About?"

"Dean. I know he's different and he attacked you yesterday. But, maybe, you could get to know him. He seems like a nice kid. And he's only a year younger than you. And…"

Cas sighs,

"Anna…"

"Please, Cas. For me? I promise, if he's a complete nutcase, you don't have to. But please try."

And he can't say no to her. Not his big sister who works all available shifts at a little café. Who takes a few college courses online in her spare time.

He can't say no to Anna.

Cas allows himself a soft smile,

"Okay, Anna. I'll try."

Anna giggles, kissing his forehead

"Thank you, Cassie! Love you, little angel."

"Anna, I'm seventeen."

"But you'll always be my little angel."

* * *

"Sammy, don't forget your lunch. Adam, homework. Dean, swallow those pills."

Dean grumbles, glaring sleepily at the array of medications his father has set in front of him. He doesn't want to take them. He never wants to take them. But…

His Dad tells him to. And his Dad would never hurt him. So he'll take the pills.

…Doesn't mean he has to be happy about it.

Dean grumbles as he swallows them down with a cup of orange juice. But his Dad ruffles his hair, so it's okay.

John checks the time,

"Hey, going to be late. To the car."

Sammy and Adam stop beside Dean. Adam gives him a tight squeeze and a kiss,

"Bye, Dean. Love you."

"Love you… draw me 'nother picture."

Sammy hugs Dean real quick,

"Bye, Dean!"

Then he's out the door. Dean frowns a little,

"Love you, Sammy…"

John pats his cheek,

"I'll be back in twenty minutes. Then, you and me, we'll do something."

"Die Hard?"

"Sure. We can watch Die Hard."

Dean's smile is small and genuine,

"Love you, Dad."

"Love you too, buddy. Twenty minutes."

Dean settles back in his seat,

"Kay."

**Sorry it took a little bit.**

**Dinner wasn't a disaster ;)**

**Thank you**

**Winchestergirl67, jokergirl94, IAmAmaterasu, Lucifersdaughter, and all the Anonymous reviewers!**

**So… am I doing the characters justice?**

**Would anyone like to see Sammy/Adam/Anna POV?**

**Cas at school?**

**Dean and John at home?**

**Gabe/Anna/Balthazar at work?**

**Toodle-oo!**

_Static_


	5. Dodgeball, Pie, and Nightmares

**DISCLAIMER**

**So, the reception to this is amazing. To everyone favoriting, placing on alert, reviewing, or just reading I would like to say**

**THANK YOU!**

**WARNING: John has a nightmare in this chapter, alluding to past child abuse. Nothing big or graphic, but just wanted to warn**

Cas doesn't yelp when the ball crashes into his head like a meteorite smashes the earth's surface because, quite frankly, he doesn't have the chance before his face is crashing into the court's surface.

"Hey, watch it, j******! Clarence, still breathing?"

The teen groans, Meg's pervasive voice not helping him at all. He hates volleyball. He hates all sports. He hates school. Currently, he hates his head the most. Although his "friend" is drawing a close second.

"Stop the pity party, Clarence. No one likes a mopey invalid."

And with that, Meg is grabbing his arm and dragging him up. Cas groans and stumbles against her. She doesn't falter and, darn it, for a petite girl she's really strong, but then again, Cas isn't very heavy.

Their gym teacher's voice booms out across the volleyball court,

"Angel, you okay?"

Cas mumbles,

"It's Anglicu…"

Meg shouts,

"Anglicu!"

The swear word that follows is mumbled so even Cas can't hear.

Mrs. Pell jogs over,

"You need to go to the office?"

"You think so? He can't even stand up."

Teachers are obviously used to Meg's non-ending backtalk, because the P.E. teacher ignores it. Mrs. Pell sighs,

"Alright. Masters, take Angel to the Nurse's."

"Anglicu, ma'am…"

* * *

"Dad, m'hungry…"

John looks away from the TV screen to the half-awake boy tucked under his arm. Dean is barely keeping from falling asleep, swathed in blankets and held tightly to his father's side. John strokes his bangs from his forehead,

"We in need of some munchies?"

Dean yawns,

"Yeah…"

"Okay, you stay here, buddy. I'll be right back with some junk food, huh?"

Dean hums softly, eyes sliding shut

"Get pie…"

So John leaves Dean on the couch with Die Hard 2 playing. He knows Dean's preferences and always makes sure to have the cupboards and fridge fully stocked. Thankfully, this is a medicated Dean that wants to eat. Much easier to deal with than a son who refuses everything and has to be force-fed. John grabs a bag of chips and some pie from the fridge. Have to always have pie or there will be problems. It's the best way to calm Dean down when his brothers aren't there to snuggle. Pie works in a pinch.

John stands in the doorway for a while, watching his son. He should be at school, learning and making something of himself. Breaking hearts and having girls drool all over him. John chuckles softly, wiping at the tears that are stinging his eyes. Dean can be a flirt. He's had waitresses eating out of the palm of his hand…

Until they learned there was something off about him. Then attraction turned to maternal concern, pity, or disgust. And John could see it breaks Dean up inside.

He's done this to his baby boy.

And it's not something that seems to be getting better.

* * *

"How you holding up, Feathers? Any brains leaking out your ears?"

Cas is resting his head on the window of Meg's car,

"Not that I am aware of. You didn't have to drive me…"

"Shut up, Clarence. You think I'm gonna give up an excuse to skip a few classes? Guess those years away have messed with your memories. Besides, it's Daddy Dearest's car."

Meg takes the corner fast, Cas falling against her before being slammed back into the door. He holds his head,

"Meg…"

"Oops."

* * *

He has to find Dean, he has to find his baby boy because something is wrong, wrong, WRONG! But all the corridors are the same and there's so many doors that John can't, he just can't find his baby.

"Dean! Dean!"

Dean's hurt, Dean's in danger, Dean needs him but John can't find him!

It's the overwhelming terror and desperation that's clouding his mind but somehow, _**somehow**_, John's in a room and there he is, curled in the corner, there's his boy but not his boy.

Because the Dean before him is tiny, and bloody, and _**crying**_. His baby's hurt, someone's hurt his baby.

"Dean?"

And it is his baby, his precious boy that looks up at him. Green eyes widen in unadulterated horror and John knows, _**he knows**_, that this is his doing.

He's hurt his baby.

But before that thought has much chance to sink in, Dean's eyes change. Fear fades to fever bright as a blinding grin stretches bruised cheeks and split lips,

"Daddy!"

The little boy is up and stumbling towards him with open arms,

"Daddy!"

* * *

John wakes up panting and shaking like a leaf. He gasps, trembling hands swiping at wet eyes. It's not often, but sometimes he has nightmares that leave his heart pounding, his brain muddled, and the urge to see Dean safe all consuming.

Bruce Willis is pounding in some villain's head on screen and Dean…

Is not on the couch.

Or in the living room.

John's heart rate spikes as he fights to stay calm,

"Dean?"

But there's no response.

Maybe he's in the bathroom. Or he went to his room to nap. Or he accidentally hurt himself and is bleeding out somew…

"Dean?"

"…Da?"

John is up and in the kitchen as fast as humanly possible. Dean's right there, sitting beside the refrigerator, his legs splayed out in front of him. A half-eaten pie rests between his legs. He stares up at John,

"…Was hungry."

John laughs, sliding down beside his son as relief washes through him. He completely ignores the pie on Dean's face as he pulls him close,

"You had me worried, sweetheart."

And yes, it's what Mary used to call Dean and it's sappy, but that nightmare really scared John. Seeing his boy safe makes him a little sappy. It's his parental right.

Dean licks his lips, cleaning away some cherry juice,

"Mommy called me that."

And it makes John's heart wince to hear Dean sound so _**little**_. He's never been sure if it's the drugs or the underlying problem, but sometimes Dean acts like a little boy.

"Yeah, you were her sweetheart. And you're mine to."

Dean frowns, looking mildly confused,

"No. I'm your buddy."

John laughs softly, ruffling his son's hair,

"That's right. I almost forgot."

They sit together for a few minutes, John just content to hold his boy. But Dean's glancing guiltily at the pie and asking in a small voice,

"Do I gotta train now?"

For the third time that day, John's heart almost stops. Just maybe his voice falters as he pulls Dean closer,

"No. No training."

And he needs to lighten the mood, let Dean know it's okay. So he snags Dean's fork and eats the piece of pie on it,

"How about this. We eat pie and watch TV. Get fat and lazy on the couch."

The loopy little grin he's come to love lets him know he's said the right thing.

"Okay…"

"That's my boy!"

* * *

Cas winces as Meg peels out. He knows she's a good driver, but he's pretty sure she drives badly to annoy him. As the car disappears around the corner he shuffles slowly inside, glancing at the shoe corner to see if any of his siblings are home.

Nope, just him. Heavy fingers fumble to pull off his shoes and jacket. He doesn't have a concussion, but his head _**hurts**_ and he wishes Anna was there. Maybe one of his brothers, but definitely Anna because Anna is gentle and quiet. And she makes him really good treats when he's hurt or sick. But she's at work, so he'll have to deal. Besides, right now he just wants to sleep…

It's the loud voice and pounding that wakes him. He's not sure where he is, or what's happening, but he wants his siblings right now.

"Castiel? Kid, open up!"

He doesn't know the gruff voice, but he'll open the door because the voice says so and he doesn't know what else to do.

With trembling hands he tries to pull himself up but his body's not cooperating. Between the pounding and his body's betrayal, he's starting to feel scared which is the only reason for the rough sob that tears out of him.

The pounding stops and suddenly rough hands are helping him, levering him up off the floor as the same gruff voice that was calling him speaks

"Hey, you left the door unlocked. You okay, kid?"

Cas isn't entirely sure, but he does feel like throwing up so he's pretty sure the answer is no.

"Your sister said the school called her, said you got your bell rung."

And half of what the guy just said doesn't make sense, but one word does. Cas groans,

"Anna?"

He's being helped to his feet, the hands still keeping a firm hold on him

"Yeah. She can't leave work, asked if I could check up on you. Looks like it's a good thing I did because you've got a concussion."

"Uh, don' gotta concussion…"

The man chuckles, like it's funny,

"Don't try to BS me. I was in the Marines and football before that. I know a head injury when I see one. Good thing yours is minor."

And maybe the guy's right about the concussion but this is not _**minor**_, Cas is sure of it.

"Let's get you to my house, then we'll call your sister, okay?"

He doesn't know what to do, but this man seems to, so Cas will go with him.

"O-kaay…"

* * *

Dean is watching the other boy because his Dad said to watch him. That was a little while ago, and now his Dad is talking to someone on the phone.

The other boy is the neighbor, the one Dean punched. He remembers him, except last time he didn't look so pale and sleepy. Dean thinks his name starts with a 'C.'

Connor?

No.

Calvin?

Not that.

…Casper?

Close, but…

…Cas? He thinks it's Cas. Maybe he should ask.

Dean leans forward, speaking softly because his Dad's on the phone,

"Hello? Cas?"

And the boy responds, so he's pretty sure it's Cas. The boy, Cas, is staring at him with unfocused blue eyes now,

"Hm?"

And really, this has to be a hallucination because Cas knows that the world doesn't hate him enough to leave him alone and injured in a room with Psycho Neighbor. It's not possible.

Dean thinks Cas looks pretty sick. Sometimes, Sammy and Adam look sick but Dean makes them feel better. Maybe Cas needs help feeling better. So Dean reaches over and pulls the smaller teen tight to his side. Cas moans as his head is jostled,

"What're yo…"

"Shh, you're sick."

And obviously the universe really does despise Cas because really? Is Psycho Neighbor cuddling him?

But, thankfully, Mr. Winchester is there, peeling his son off

"Hey, Deano, let's leave Castiel alone, okay? He's not feeling too hot."

"Hugs don't make him better? Like Sammy and Adam?"

"Guess not, buddy. What he needs is some sleep, so we'll leave him alone, okay?"

Dean nods because Dad knows best,

"Okay."

Once John has his son settled, he turns back to the concussed teenager. The boy's already dozing off so John drapes a blanket over him,

"I talked to your sister. Said you'll be okay with some rest and I don't mind keeping you here till one of your brothers gets off. Just catch some shuteye, I'll wake you in an hour."

Cas is pretty sure he'd know why if he wasn't so foggy, but right now he doesn't,

"Why?"

"Standard procedure with head injuries. Now, get to sleep. I'll see you in an hour."

He doesn't really want to fall asleep, not with Mr. Winchester and his psycho son watching him, but his body's not giving him a say in the matter. So he shuts his eyes and snoozes.

**Just to reiterate; THIS IS NOT SLASH. JUST FRIENDSHIP.**

**Sorry for the wait, I've been very very busy.**

**Watching the season eight opener ;) Evil me.**

**Thank You to**

**jokergirl94**

**Geu23**

**Apocalyxtic98**

**KatyOnACloud**

**darkphoenix2345**

**anon**

**Guest**

**caroline-reid**

**dylaila**

**for their reviews of last chapter!**

**Sayonara!**

_Static_


	6. Concussions, Brothers, Crazy Neighbors

**DISCLAIMER: ANYTHING RECOGNIZABLE IS NOT MINE**

**I'm so sorry it took so long. I was kidnapped by Sherlock and the Sims Supernatural ^^;**

**Sorry.**

"Come on, Cassie, into bed with you."

Balthazar watches from the doorway as Gabriel deposits their baby brother on his bed. Anna had called him at work, telling him about Cas's school accident and that Gabe was leaving early to take him to the emergency room. Balthazar had arrived home as Gabriel and Cas were pulling in.

"Just a minor concussion. He'll be okay."

Cas had been tired enough to allow Gabe to carry him upstairs, reminding both elder brothers of years ago when a fussy toddler had to be carried to bed for naptime.

Gabriel tucks him in, laughing softly,

"This'll probably be the closest thing to a hangover Cassie ever experiences."

"Probably."**  
**

* * *

"How was school?"

Sam watches as their father checks on the pizza,

"I like my science teacher."

"That's good. Adam?"

"I made you a picture!"

Anyone looking in would see a normal family. Smiles, talk of school, dinner cooking in the oven, handmade pictures being passed to a proud parent with a future of being taped to the fridge door. Then a loud thump shatters the illusion.

John looks up, then towards the oven,

"Sam, could you check on your brother?"**  
**

* * *

_Sammy knows Daddy is sad. All the time, except for sometimes he's scary. Well, what's scary is when Dean tells him to hide. He says it's a game, but he doesn't look like he's playing a game._

_That's actually what's really scary. Dean. Sometimes, a lot lately, his big brother doesn't act like Dean. He says odd things, about monsters and salt. And it…_

_It really scares Sammy. It really does._**  
**

* * *

Dean is on the floor, tangled in his blankets when Sam gets to his room. He stands quietly for a while, watching his brother squirm like an infant. His friends have big brothers. Big brothers boss you around, tease you, and steal your stuff. Basically, people allowed to torment full time.

And sometimes Dean does that. He's sarcastic and obnoxious, but that depends on his medication. Other times, he's like he is now.

Dependant.

Helpless.

A baby.

Not like normal big brothers. Big brothers look out for little brothers. Not the other way round.

"Sammy? Everything okay?"

Sam's drawn from his thoughts at his father's inquiry. He should probably help Dean off of the floor. Sam replies as he goes to it,

"He's okay, Dad. Just fell."

"What?"

"Out of bed, Dad! He's fine."

Sam takes Dean by the arm, tugging him up

"Come on. Back in bed."

Dean blinks up at him,

"Sammy? Wha' happened?"

"Fell out of bed, Dean."

"Bed?"

"Yeah, Dean. The thing you sleep on."

His big brother frowns, mulling this over,

"Know… that. Wh-why in bed?"

Sammy's voice drips with false sweetness,

"Naptime for baby, Dean."

And he doesn't know why he said it, it just slipped out, really it did. He loves Dean, even though Dean isn't normal, because Dean loves him and is the best big brother he can be.

Dean's staring at him, hurt obvious in his eyes,

"…Sammy?"

Sam leans him against the bed so he can curl onto his lap,

"I'm sorry, Dean. I was just teasing you."

His brother's arms pull him close,

"Sorry? I'm not… Not a baby."

"I know. I was teasing you, Dean."

"Oh… Love you, Geek."

"Love you too, Jerk."**  
**

* * *

"Now, John's promised that his kid won't attack you or cuddle you? You're going to have to explain that one, Cassie."

Cas stares listlessly at his pancakes,

"I can stay home alone."

Gabe laughs,

"And have Anna lop off my head because I didn't do what she said? Maybe the doc was wrong, there's something seriously wrong with your head. Now, over to Crazy's house."

Castiel isn't happy about it, because really who would be happy about recovering from a concussion at a house where a crazy thirsts for blood? Seemingly his blood. The teen's going over all the ways Psycho Neighbor is going to attempt to kill him. Death by cuddling has made it onto the list, right beneath strangulation and above being killed for pie. He really shouldn't have let Balthazar talk him into watching that stupid musical about the barber. Like he needs any more things to be worried about.

Gabe pulls on his jacket,

"Come on, Cassie. Anna asked and John said he'd keep an eye on you today. And no, don't start the 'I'm 17' talk again. You're 17 and concussed."

Cas stares at him before finally speaking,

"You're starting to sound like Anna."

"Heaven help us then. Now hurry, I'm going to be late."**  
**

* * *

"Hold still, Dean."

"How come I can't stay in pjs?"

"We're having company. The boy from next door."

"Not-Monster?"

John pulls the black shirt over Dean's head,

"Yep, buddy. Kid's not a monster. But he's not feeling good so…"

"What's wrong with him?"

John looks down into his son's green eyes and realizes that today is one of his more lucid days. So his father answers honestly,

"He's got a concussion."

"Oh."

"So we need to be careful with him, okay?"

"No training?"

It doesn't matter how many times Dean says it, every time it's brought up it sends an icy pang of guilt stabbing into his heart. And, like every other time, John ruffles Dean's hair before pressing a kiss to it,

"Nope. No training."

The doorbell rings and John forces a smile,

"Come on, buddy."

_Lying on pillows we're haunted and half-awake_

_Does anyone hear us pray, "If I die before I wake"_

_Then the morning comes and the mirror's another place_

_Where we wrestle face to face with the image of Deity_

_The image of Deity_

_-Big Enough by Chris Rice_

**Sorry it's so short and took so long. I had just escaped from Sherlock when Merlin snatched me. Let's just say, you owe this update to jokergirl94 and one anonymous reviewer. I hope to have the next chapter up within the week.**

**Thanks go to;**

**jokergirl94**

**Winchestergirl67**

**Lucifersdaughter**

**darkphoenix2345**

**Apocalyxtic98**

**Namei**

**Guest**

**and the one who wondered where I was ;)**

**Which POVs would you like to see?**

_Static_


	7. Maybe the Universe isn't Evil

**DISCLAIMER**

**Inspiration, inspiration, inspiration!**

"Here, I packed your favorite book and a snack. I told John to give you some Tylenol if you really need it."

"Anna, I don't need-"

"Shush, Cas. If you hurt, you take Tylenol. Now, Gabe and I are working late, but Balthazar gets off at seven, so he'll pick you up around seven-thirty of eight-ish, alright? You need to take it easy. I let John know that…"

Gabe spins Anna away, pulling their baby brother up,

"Time to go. He's not going off to kindergarten, Anna, just the neighbors'. To the car, all of you. Except for you, Cassie."

His grin isn't very comforting. Cas digs in his heels,

"Are you sure I can't stay home?"

"Positive, little bro. You heard the doc."**  
**

* * *

John is shepherding his boys out to the Impala when he sees Anna leading the boy, Castiel?, up their sidewalk. He smiles, tugging a sleepy Dean beside him,

"Yours doesn't like naptime being interrupted too, huh?"

Anna laughs but Dean grumbles. John pulls him closer,

"Just got to drop the boys at school."

"Okay. So, I told Cas, but if he's in a lot of pain…"

Cas groans as his sister goes on.**  
**

* * *

Cas has never seen a family who buys quite as much pie as the Winchesters. Seriously, _**eight**_ pies? Who needs that many? But then again…

He glances surreptitiously at Psycho Neighbor Dean. The kid's kind of fragile and pale looking, and the baggy clothes don't help. But, at some point during this memorable grocery trip, Dean had started taking off his shirt. He'd mumbled something to his dad about being too hot, like some half-asleep kid in the middle of a dream. John had managed to get the shirt back on him, but not before Cas had seen Dean's chest.

The kid is mostly skin and bone. Ribs showing easily, but his stomach was protruding slightly. So, Psycho Neighbor's bulking up.

"Your name's Cas, right kid?"

Cas pulls himself from his thoughts, looking up at Mr. Winchester,

"Huh? Oh, yeah."

"You have a favorite food?"

"What?"

John smiles,

"Something you like to eat? Anything?"

The teen's still dazed by the question,

"Annie's Mac and Cheese."

"Regular or White?"

"White."

Dean suddenly perks up,

"White Annie's? Yum…"

John chuckles,

"Dean loves that too. Right, buddy?"

Dean nods,

"D*** straight."

And it catches Castiel off guard. He laughs. Psycho Neighbor turns and _**smiles**_ at him. Castiel smiles back without even thinking about it.

Great, now he's encouraged him.**  
**

* * *

Sam tries to ignore the taunts that day, he really does. But it's kind of hard, especially after what Dean did that morning. His dad had dropped him off outside the gates, same as the last couple days. Except this time, this time, Dean had scrambled out of the car before John or Sammy noticed. His big brother latched onto him like a child to their mother on the first day of kindergarten. It took some persuasion and gentle tugging before their father could get Dean off him and back into the car. But not before Dean gave his brother a kiss on the forehead. And of course, the five girls that comprise the Jr. High Gossip Circle's main distributors just happened to be right there, witnessing it all.

"_You're girlfriend's kind of clingy, Winchester."_

Telling people that Dean was his brother didn't make things better.

"_Did you hear? Winchester's got a freak for a brother."_

The rumors got worse as the day went on. The few friends he'd started to make seemed to quickly forget ever seeing him before. Sam's place in the social pyramid was decided.

From "The New Kid" to "The Freak's Little Brother" in the first week of school.

Sometimes, Sammy really hates his big brother.**  
**

* * *

"What ya' doing?"

Cas had barricaded himself in one corner of the Winchester's sofa. Kind of hard to do when you only have cushions and a guy who sprawls across most of the available surface. Right now, Psycho Neighbor is leaning over to see what he's reading, squishing Cas against the side of the couch. Which is kind of weird because Dean is _**smaller**_ than him. Sure, he's maybe an inch taller than Cas, but Cas is pretty sure he's got at least 10 lbs on the guy. Yet he's still the one being treated like a pillow.

Dean reaches for his book and Cas pulls it away,

"I'm reading."

"What?"

"Reading. Looking at words on a page and knowing what they're saying."

Psycho Neighbor stares at him, and Cas could swear that he looks hurt.

Dean pulls away from him, curling up in the opposite corner of the couch. They sit in silence for a few minutes, Cas feeling an annoying little tingle of guilt nibbling at him.

"I… I meant name. Book name…"

"Oh… It's called Bruiser. It's um, about this kid. He takes people's pain away."

Dean peeks up from his arms,

"Read to me?"

The way he asks, like a little child who just wants his big brother to read him to sleep, Cas just can't say no to that. He closes it on his page and flips to the beginning. Pauses to look up at Dean before starting,

"'If he touches her, I swear I'm going to rip out his guts with my bare hands and send them to his next of kin for lunch.'"

His audience smiles,

"This'll be good."

And maybe the Universe isn't all bad, because for the second time that day, Cas finds himself smiling back.

**So, I also don't own 'Bruiser.' It's an amazing book by Neal Shusterman that I just finished. Somehow, it managed to worm its way into this chapter.**

**Time for thank yous! This chapter's go to**

**weedom**

**Apocalyxtic98**

**darkphoenix2345**

**WinJennster**

**jokergirl94**

**and Lucifersdaughter**

**Bye for now!**

_Static_


	8. School's Out!

**DISCLAIMER**

**Yeah let's all just agree that I'm evil, okay? I'm really really so very sorry ^^;;**

That day had been, surprisingly enough, not so bad.

Dean had shut up and listened attentively while Cas read to him, only interjecting a comment occasionally. And Cas didn't find it annoying. John had taken them to pick up the boys then made Annie's for everyone.

And, just maybe, when Balthazar came to take him home, Cas was just the tiniest bit reluctant to leave.**  
**

* * *

"Hey there, Deano. I need you to wake up, tiger."

Dean stirs, blearily glancing around at the front seat. John taps his cheek lightly,

"There we go. I need you to come in with me."

Fuzzy thoughts try to connect and make some semblance of sense.

"…Work?"

"Yeah, tiger. I've got to work now. And you need to come in too."

Dean allows his father to pull him out of the Impala,

"Kay…"**  
**

* * *

John hates his job.

Hates standing at the checkout counter, having to smile while he bags groceries.

It's demeaning.

But what else is he supposed to do?

Sure, he had a garage, but that was years ago. And it's not like he can just write up a resume with 'Mechanic until the love of my life died and I spent the next few years in a bottle.'

Those things tend to not look well to a future boss.

This was the only place that would take him and d***** he needs the cash. Got to take care of his boys. And if it's difficult, well then, it's no more than he deserves. He-

His thoughts are interrupted before they can get any worse by a familiar scream.

_D*****_**  
**

* * *

"5… 4… 3…"

Cas is too busy putting away his books to join in his classmates' countdown. Meg elbows him,

"Two more minutes, Clarence. Not excited at all?"

"It's just summer break."

Meg snorts,

"That's like saying Superman is just a guy in a cape."

"Superman is fictious."

"You know, sometimes I don't even know why I try."

Cas can't help but agree with her, just not aloud. Meg is enough of an annoyance without him telling her she's right.

"ZERO!"

He clenches his teeth as the classroom dissolves into chaos, students stampeding out to freedom. Within seconds, only Meg and he are still in there. Even the teacher looks to be chomping at the bit to leave. Everyone is so excited but Cas can't help but feel… empty.

"…Hey. Clarence, hey!"

"Huh?"

Meg shoves him,

"Stop throwing your little pity party and pay attention."

Cas looks around. They're already halfway to the parking lot.

"What is it?"

"There's gonna be a party tonig-"

"No. I'm not going."

"Oh, come on Clarence. You've got to live a little."

Cas adjusts his backpack strap,

"That's not living."

"Yeah, and what you're doing is really living."**  
**

"I don't want to argue, Meg."

"Doormat. You never want to argue."

* * *

Cas sees John helping Dean out of their car when he gets home. It's been a few weeks since he had to stay at the Winchester's for a day. They haven't really interacted since then. And right now, Dean looks…

Bad.

The teen is sobbing and trying desperately to struggle from his father's grip,

"Dad, Dad, Dad… We gotta kill it, Dad!"

"Dean, stop it. Dean!"

Okay, well, all is normal over in Psycho Land, and Cas really has no desire to be beat up today so he'll just go inside and…

Apparently, Cas's legs aren't in on the plan because they're taking him away from his door and towards the Winchesters. Great, the Universe and his body have teamed up against him. Fantastic.

"Mr. Winchester? Do you need some help?"

Even his voice is in on the conspiracy against him. His question draws not only Mr. Winchester's attention, but also his son's. And Dean's reaction is quite the opposite of what the teen expects. The shouting and flailing stops as Dean goes limp, a wide smile spreading across his face,

"Cas."

Huh. Maybe the Universe isn't his enemy.**  
**

* * *

Adam likes school, even though it's a brand new school. He's made brand new friends and learned brand new stuff.

Adam is very happy.

Some of it is because summer's come. Summer means more time with his Daddy and his Dean and his Sammy. That means snuggles with Dean, and games with Sammy, and Daddy hugs. All of these are some of Adam's favoritest things in the _**whole world**_.

He waits like a good little boy for his big brother to pick him up outside the school, just like Daddy told him to do when he started his new job. And Adam is a good little boy, so he waits.**  
**

* * *

Today has been a terrible day. A horrible day. One of those days that makes John wish he could just crawl into a bottle and never come out. But, since that's the reason behind his current problem, he can't.

John is under no delusions.

If he had never starting drinking, he never would have ruined his boy. Dean would live a normal life. And he wouldn't have been fired from the only available job that would take him because Dean would be normal and wouldn't have decided that the store manager was some kind of monster that needed to be killed.

John's ruined everything because of one mistake.**  
**

* * *

Cas doesn't know why he's here again, willingly this time, sitting on the Winchester's couch and reading to Dean. He should be at home, waiting for Balthazar to get off work. It's not like he _**has**_ to stay. But…

Dean is just so pitiful.

Okay, so he's a psycho who packs a mean punch and half the time he's screaming about killing monsters. And Cas doesn't know how the kid, only a year younger but seems so little at times, got so messed up, but sometimes he's not so bad to be around. Like when he's quietly listening to a book, curled up under a blanket like some little kid being lulled to sleep with a comforting story.

"Cas?"

He hadn't noticed Mr. Winchester until the man spoke up. Dean's father is leaning over the couch, looking down at his son with tired eyes,

"Thanks for this. He's not… Usually I…"

Mr. Winchester sighs, rubbing his face vigorously. Cas feels kind of bad for him,

"It's okay, Mr. Winchester. I don't mind. I like reading."

The man cracks a weary smile, sitting down and pulling an unresisting Dean towards him. He lays him down, gently untangling his boy's hair,

"You can call me John, Cas."

"Mr. Winchester makes you feel old?"

A surprised laugh explodes from John's mouth,

"You get that a lot?"

And now Cas is embarrassed,

"Uh, well…"

"You're almost an adult. If you don't want to call me John that's okay."

"N-no, it's fine! It's just… I was taught that it was respectful to not use first names."

"It's alright, Cas, I understand."

Dean grumbles from his father's lap,

"Read."

**Ah, I'm a monster ^^;;**

**I am so very sorry. This is deplorable. Life has been really busy, but…**

**Thanks to everyone for waiting so long. I'm **_**SO**_** sorry.**


	9. Summer Job Hunt

**DISCLAIMER**

**So, borrowing a friend's computer to do this. Because mine is broken and I don't know when it will be fixed.**

Cas spends his first week of summer at the Winchester's, watching the boys while Mr. Winchester hunts for a job. Sam keeps to himself, and Adam is a pretty sweet kid, so he's not much trouble. Dean isn't a problem. He snuggles with Adam, watches television, and eats pie. Sometimes, Cas reads to him.

At the end of the week, Mr. Winchester has a job. Offers to pay Cas for his help.

Cas turns him down.

Sometimes, the younger boys go to a friend's house. On those days, Dean follows Cas to his house. He really likes Anna. Cas is pretty sure it's because of Anna's cooking.

By the fourth week, Dean is following him on walks around the street. Then the neighborhood. The block. The rest of the town.

Of course, Cas doesn't really think about it until Ms. Pam at the grocery store ask who his friend is.

Dean's his friend.

* * *

"Dad, can I sleep over at Andy's tonight?"

John looks up from pulling on his jacket. Sam's watching him from the living room, a backpack already packed and over his shoulder.

"Yeah, that would actually be good, I've got a late shift. Doesn't Andy have a younger brother? Could you take Adam with you?"

Sam's face twists in annoyance,

"Dad…"

"I could use the help, Samuel. I already have to keep my eye on Dean. Can't watch Adam too."

"Fine. Adam! Get your stuff! Sleepover."

"Yay! Dean coming?"

John swears when he realizes his eldest is not where he left him. It had taken an hour to get Dean ready, and John is going to barely make it on time having to drop off his two youngest.

"Sam, find your brother."

Sam glances out the window,

"…Dad?"

"S***, Sam, what?"

In answer, Sam points. John follows his finger. Dean's outside in the pouring rain, stripping off his mud-soaked shirt. And pants.

"S***."

* * *

"I'm sorry to do this. I've just-"

Gabriel waves off John's worrying,

"It's no problem. Balthazar used to streak through the rain too. The weird thing was when he streaked through a snowstorm."

That pulls a anxious chuckle from John,

"So he'll be okay for tonight?"

"Right as rain, Winchester. Right as rain."

* * *

"You okay in there, Rainman? Haven't slipped and killed yourself?"

Gabriel waits outside the bathroom door, listening to the shower running and waiting for an answer. There isn't one. Gabriel sighs,

"You better not be naked cause I'm coming in."

And Dean isn't naked. He's clothed in his muddy clothes. Sitting under the shower spray and shivering.

"D*****. What are you doing?"

Dean's only response is to curl into a tighter ball.

"You need to clean off. Anna's already gonna kill me for the mud in the entry."

Still no response. Gabriel swears as he crouches beside the tub,

"Fine. But you scream something stupid and I'll beat your pasty a**."

That gets a muffled chuckle. Dean turns his head, peeking out at Gabriel through his arms,

"Stranger danger."

"Hey, what did I just tell you?"

Dean uncurls slightly,

"'M cold…"

"That's cause you've got it on freezing. Let's turn it up before I have a popsicle in my tub."

Gabriel reaches to turn the water to warm. He hasn't had much of a chance to interact with Dean, but the kid's not that bad.

"Cas?"

"He's at his girl's house. Be home in a few hours."

Dean looks heartbroken,

"Not here?"

"Not at the moment."

"But…"

Dean curls back into a ball. Gabriel holds back the urge to groan. He needs a plan.

"Hey, Deano. If you clean up, I'll call Cassie, okay? But you have to shower first."

"…Okay."

* * *

Cas is never letting Meg drag him anywhere ever again. Small party. Yeah, right. So really, Cas is very happy when his phone rings. Even though it's Gabriel calling.

"Hello?"

"Hey, lil' bro, I need you to get home."

And Cas would like to go home, but not if it's one of his brother's stupid pranks.

"Why?"

"Got Deano over here asking for you. Something about you reading to him. Preferably before he goes starkers again."

"I'll be there soon."

**I know, it's very short and late. But I'm only using the computer for a little bit.**

**Until next time!**


	10. Do You Believe in Monsters?

**DISCLAIMER**

**My computer is finally fixed. I have no other excuses. I'm sorry.**

"Cas?"

It's after midnight and Cas would much rather prefer to be asleep. But Dean sounds… odd.

"Yes?"

He can hear Dean wiggling in his sleeping bag,

"Do… do you…"

"Do I what?"

"It's stupid… I-I know they're not real."

Cas rolls towards the edge of his bed, looking down at his friend,

"What isn't real?"

"M-monsters. But sometimes, sometimes I know they're real. They're out there ready to kill Dad and Sammy and Adam and me, but they aren't. I don't, I don't understand. They're real, not real, real and I… I can't… I want Dad…"

_He didn't take his pills._

If Cas were someone else, he would curse. But he's Cas, so he does something much more sensible.

"Gabe!"**  
**

* * *

Dean had been crying for half an hour before the brothers' savior came.

Anna bursts into the kitchen, coat over her arm,

"What on God's green earth did you two do to him?"

"Nothing! Cassie's the one who made him cry!"

"Daddy!"

Anna shoos the boys from her kitchen with all the indignation of an angry hen that caught the barnyard cat menacing her chick. Neither brother dares dispute her.

Once both are gone, Anna calmly sits beside the half-hysterical boy. When he continues to sob, she speaks softly,

"Should I call your father?'

Dean starts to nod, then shakes his head rapidly,

"No. No."

"Alright. Do you want some pie?"

Another nod and a tiny sob.

"Apple? Or cherry?"

"…Apple?"

"Okay. You sit right there, okay?"

"O-okay…"**  
**

* * *

"Do you think monsters are real?"

The question is so quiet she almost doesn't hear it. Dean refuses to take his eyes off his third piece of pie.

"What kind of monsters, Dean?"

"The bad kind."

Anna sits back, giving it careful consideration,

"I think there's all kinds of monsters."

Dean's hand tightens on his spoon.

"But not the monsters you'd think. Not Frankenstein's monster or the Wolfman."

That catches the teen off-guard. He looks up, surprised,

"What?"

"There are all sorts of monsters in life. There are the kind that kill or hurt others. There are the ones that lie and betray. The ones that will smile and look you in the eye as they hurt you."

Dean is hanging on her every word.

"Sometimes, we're the monsters. Sometimes the monster is in your head."

He wriggles at that,

"What do you mean?"

Anna thinks over what she's going to say,

"I had… a friend. He was very bright and went to a very good school. He expected a lot of himself and so did others. Too much. He made bad choices, didn't take care of himself. Stayed up all night, didn't eat enough, worked too much. He worried his friends and family very much. He… almost died. His choices, they hurt the ones who loved him very much."

Dean's staring her straight in the eyes,

"…I don't understand."

"Sometimes others are the monsters. But other times, we are."

The boy closes his eyes. A shiver goes through his body. Anna waits.

"…How do you fight the monsters?"

Anna smiles sadly,

"It depends on the monster, Dean. Sometimes… you can't."

Dean shakes his head,

"No, you have to fight it. You have to stop it."

"You can't always fight it."

Tears trickle down freckled cheeks,

"No. It can't win."

He jumps as Anna places cool hands on his face,

"Sometimes, you have to forgive the monster."

Dean's sobbing now,

"Why?"

Anna looks him in the eyes,

"Because you love them."

**I know it's super short, but this was the place it needed to end. And I'm starting on the next chapter right now.**

**HUMONGOUS THANKS GO TO**

**jokergirl94**

**darkphoenix2345**

**Lucifersdaughter**

**ReadSavvy**

**xAnita88x**

**and everyone who read or added to favorite/alert.**

**Bye for now!**

_Static_


	11. Walks and Car Shops

**DISCLAIMER**

**Inspiration struck!**

_Sammy doesn't like it when Dean plays hide-n-seek. He doesn't like the closet. It's dark and bad smelling. But Dean says to and Sammy does what Dean says cause he's a good little brother._

_And it sounds scary out there. Sammy wishes Dean wasn't out there, but Dean is big so he'll be okay. Dean's always okay cause Dean's a superhero and he fights monsters._

_Even though…_

_Sometimes, Dean scares Sammy. Talking about monsters frightens Sammy. The way Dean acts frightens Sammy. The big man Dean calls Daddy frightens Sammy too._

_Lots of stuff frightens Sammy._

_Especially the monsters that frighten Dean._ **LINE**

Cas might as well live with the Winchesters.

He spends most of his weeks there, watching the boys while Mr. Winchester works, which is basically all the time. Working two crummy jobs doesn't exactly give you a lot of time off to be with your children.

So Cas fills in for the overworked father as best he can.

It's not easy.

While they had been very well behaved at first, Sam and Adam because Dean would act however he wanted, the polite boys disappeared once Cas was no longer a stranger. Adam was okay, or as okay as any eight-year-old boy ever is.

Dean has his moments, but Cas is used to them by now. Which is pretty sad, considering when Dean starts to remove his clothes, Cas calmly tells him

"Don't even think about it,"

Without even looking up from his book.

Sam though…

Sam is a whole different matter entirely.

"Why can't I go to Andy's house?"

"Your Father said you couldn't."

"He's not here."

"But I am."

"You're no fun."

Or, the ever popular,

"Can we go -INSERT FUN THING TO DO HERE-?"

"No, Dean is -TIRED/HAVING A BAD DAY/DOESN'T WANT TO/ETC.-"

"We can't do anything fun with Dean!"

Really, it's starting to annoy Cas very much. **LINE**

During his third week, he finds Dean sulking in his room. It takes half an hour to coax the reason out of him.

"I'm fat."

And Dean has gone from ribs-sticking-out-I'm-so-skinny to, well, a little soft around the stomach. He's not fat, which in itself is a miracle considering all the junk he eats.

But Dean won't be persuaded otherwise, so walking around the neighborhood becomes a daily occurrence.

Which Sammy disapproves of.

First he wants to go someplace, but now that they're walking he complains it's too hot. And boring. So Cas leaves him at home.

He assures himself that he will never have children if this is what parenthood is like. **LINE**

It's July second when Adam is at a friend's house and Sam is pouting at home, so Cas and Dean are alone on the walk.

Cas had noticed they were getting a little low on food, deciding to stop by the store. Which had been no big deal.

Until he'd turned around and Dean wasn't there.

_Okay, check the aisle with pie._

No Dean.

_The magazine rack?_

No Dean.

_Sodas?_

No Dean.

_Bathroom, he's got to be in the bathroom._

No Dean.

Dean isn't anywhere in the store. Which means he's outside. Possibly in the street. Possibly getting hit by a car. Or bullied. Kidnapped. Mugged, which is illogical considering it's the middle of the day by Cas is currently too panicked to think logically.

Dean is missing. **LINE**

He runs up and down the street five times before he hears Dean. He doesn't sound in trouble. In fact, he sounds pretty happy.

Cas is going to freaking kill that miserable little…

The sign over the garage says Singer's Shop.

"She's a 1967 Chevy Impala and she's Dad's. He won't let me drive her, but I really want to."

"Dean!"

Dean is talking to a grizzled older man when Cas bursts in. The boy turns around, grinning,

"Cas! Mr. Bobby says I can look at his cars and…"

"What do you think you're doing!?"

Now Dean looks unsure, and maybe a little scared, but Cas is scared too and it's all Dean's fault so it doesn't matter.

"You don't just walk off!"

"But… you weren't talkin' to me a-and I was cur-cur… I wanted to see the cars so… I'm sorry!"

And Dean bursts into tears.

"Hey!"

Now the man is glaring at Cas and Cas feels really bad. He didn't want Dean to cry but Dean scared him so bad and he just wanted him to understand, but Dean didn't mean anything by it and now he's upset…

Dean's arms close around Cas in a tight hug,

"I'm sorry, Cas…" **LINE**

The man turns out to be Robert Singer, owner of the garage, but he doesn't mind that Dean calls him Mr. Bobby. He treats Dean like a person, not like an animal. Cas likes that because he hates it when people talk to Dean like they're explaining things to an especially dumb dog. But Mr. Singer talks about cars and feeds them some lasagna his wife made him. They spend the rest of the day there.

And Cas has got to admit that it's pretty nice.

**So… The last problem was with my battery. Then my cord broke.**

**Now, it's fixed. Hopefully it won't need to be fixed again.**

**So cross your fingers!**

**Thanks to everyone for reviewing!**


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